Four Months Later

In my June post I wrote about my wife Marianne’s passing. Since then I’ve been helped towards closure by family visits, and an airplane journey to Greystone Farm near Ithaca NY where we brought up our children.

My journey centered on our family’s decision to do our version of movie “The Way.”   In it Martin Sheen portrays a father who remembers his son who died on the first day of his walk on the Camino, the Way of St James. The father honored his son by walking his own Camino and leaving his son’s ashes along the “Way.”

We did our version of that. My wife’s ashes are now in places that were significant during our marriage. We concluded our “Way” when we buried the remainder of her ashes under her “rock” by our Greystone Farm Sign.

Starting on August 8, just three months after Marianne’s passing, my daughter, granddaughter and I finished our “Way” with a 3114 mile car journey from the farm near Freeville NY to my home in California. It brought me home, our granddaughter here and provided her with a car while she continues her education nearby.

A Course in Miracles has helped me during these trying times, especially contemplating the new “Lord’s Prayer,” (found at the very end of Text Chapter 16). Its six sentences considered singularly or all together, provide me with great comfort during this time of loss. Here is the first one.

­Forgive us our illusions, Father, and help us to accept our true relationship with You, in which there are no illusions, and where none can ever enter.

Illusions are what we perceive here in our made up world. Our true relationship is our eternal being at home in Heaven with God. There are no illusions there and “none can ever enter” Heaven.

I recite the first sentence in my mind whenever times become difficult. It helped me get to the next step which is neatly stated in sentence two.

Our Holiness is yours.

Given that our true reality is as spirit with God in Heaven and the source of our Holiness is God; it is God’s. This concept refers to our reality in Heaven. It is truly humbling yet helpful.

Sentence three focuses on forgiveness. Like everyone who has been part of a marriage, I recall many moments that I wish could be forgiven. Sentence three helps me cope with those parts of our long-time relationship.

                          What can there be in us that needs forgiveness when Yours is perfect?

Granted: it’s difficult to let go of unhappy memories. But like our good ones they are equally illusory. Sentence four describes our illusory world

       The sleep of forgetfulness is only the unwillingness to remember Your forgiveness      and Your Love.

 “The sleep of forgetfulness” is one of the Course’s definitions for the world we make with our ego-centric projections. Yet, we need only to remember God’s forgiveness and love to return our mind to Heaven.     Sentence five defines our illusory world as “temptation.”

 Let us not wander into temptation, for the temptation of the Son of God is not Your Will.

 “Temptation” is just one of many words in the Course which defines our separated state. Most important; God does not will us to be in this illusion.

Sentence six speaks to being willing to accept God’s gift of spirit.

 And let us receive only what You have given, and accept but this into the minds which You created and which You love. Amen.

 This new Lord’s Prayer appears near the middle of the Text. It is preceded way before that in an important section in Chapter 3, section V paragraph seven. That passage reinterprets the statement, “God created man in his own image and likeness” and states exactly that God gave us spirit like his own.

 God did create spirit in His Own Thought and of a quality like to His Own. There [is] nothing else.

 What else is there that anyone would need to cope with the illusions here after losing a loved one? I know that she is at Home with God.